I have today taken an exciting morning. I was filming an upcoming TV show here in Toronto. The show is called “Save us from our House” and airs on the W network. It is a half-hour where they help a family with two fundamental problems; one is their current living conditions and the other is effective communication. As you would say you to my brother, I can not fix or build things very well (my brother can arrange anything from a toaster to a helicopter…) so you know that I was not there to repair the House. I was there to do what best – help people communicate better.
time was limited. I usually have an opportunity to give new customers an evaluation time and structure a training program where we meet once or twice a week, for a series of six to twelve weeks. Today, however, things were different. It had only twenty minutes to speak to this wonderful family and dish below some tips to help improve communication quick and relevant. Then it was “Action” and the rest of my advice would have to be on the fly, while the family went shopping and while the cameras were rolling. It was a nice experience and I think that even in a short time the family learned a lot, especially because you have the advantage of seeing the show again and again and hear me coaching to improve their 3 Vs of communication.
I do not know yet when this episode will air, as that they are still filming. It may be a while before it reaches the air, so for now I’d like to give the same top 7 tips to communicate calmly given the family. By the way, I’d like to take this moment to say hello to that wonderful family: Wilson, Belisa, Kaitlin and Julian – all did a great job today, and I know that he loves very much. Good luck with your new home, provided that they have completed renewing it. I can’t wait to see it on TV!
well, here are the Top 7 tips to communicate calmly:
1 – look who’s talking. His body and hips square. Make eye contact. It relaxes the muscles of the face and then relax all your muscles. While listen smile (5%).
2 – use of open body language. Leaning on something; do not cross your arms, legs, or ankles (no matter how comfortable is) and try to keep the shoulders relaxed. It not only helps you to relax and relieve stress, but it also encourages other people to adopt the same body language. Do not use fists, fingers interlaced or other gestures of hands of closure. Use open palms. Do not point to others.
3 – breathe. Breathing before, during, and after a heated or difficult discussion. If it is necessary to take a few seconds or a minute before responding to collect his thoughts. Count to ten if necessary.
4 – control of his pace. Is it not a right of the race? Say a few words or a phrase, taking a quick break, then continue with the following sentence or more words. Think about how Barack Obama speaks; quiet, cool and in control. It is strong but not aggressive.
5 – use positive language. Instead of saying the first thing in your head, ask yourself internally if there is a softer, less aggressive way of saying what you mean. Do not attempt to blame or accuse others. Instead of pointing the finger, only they talk about their feelings and expectations first. Questions to clarify or give the person a chance to explain. Stay positive aid to keeps things from getting personal and out of control. It is very difficult to have a healthy conversation or persuade someone to do what you want when they are attacked. Everything you say, regardless of any logic that occurs resist.
6 – not yell. Once. If you feel the need to speak more strong than the other person, it means that you are not listening. Be quiet and listen first before making their points. Use the medium in his speech volume. If someone shouts at no join in the conversation until they calmed down. Cry is not just necessary to convey their points.
7 – do not argue. It is very well say what you want or need or feel, but it is not right to discuss and try a conversation as a competition. The contests are for sports and games with rules. If you think that you must ‘win’ the argument to say that they require the other person to ‘lose’. Do you feel when you lose something? It is not so good right? So that does not make someone feel that way, especially to a friend or family member. Do you really want to feel like a ‘Loser’?
enjoy the tips and will let you know when the episode airs. However, if you feel that you could benefit from effective communication training, especially if you are interested in the construction of communications more secure in his professional life, then see the next communication from Toronto workshop, running on 8 November. We will be in a downtown hotel, have attended the lunch, and everyone will get a training session as well as a discount on any free future workshop or coaching program. It is a good time to invest in your future success.
any questions about the workshop, or anything else, please do not hesitate to ask.
P.S. I think that I should also let you know that I have been more active with my blog lately, and you can find some tips on great communication and resources there. Recently I’ve posted things on a free eBook called Mosaic communications, leadership, entrepreneurship, ESL resources and NLP.
all the best!